RAW Results and Recap: Getting These Hands Is Hard To Do
The Dogs of War kick off tonight’s RAW, with Dolph Ziggler immediately saying they’re “the greatest three-man group in WWE history.” He’s clearly never heard of 3MB, which is strange, considering who his tag team partner is. Speaking of Drew McIntyre, he points out that they “didn’t need a catchy nickname” to become this great either, so I guess I’m officially done calling them “The Dogs of War” (and I definitely won’t call them “The Pack”) from this point on. McIntyre adds that they broke The Shield last week and proved they were right about Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins’ “selfish agenda.” Now to focus on more important things, like Braun Strowman’s Universal Championship match at Crown Jewel and Ziggler and McIntyre’s WWE World Cup qualifying matches (against Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, respectively) tonight… and uh oh. There’s a little tension between the RAW Tag Team Champions when it comes to who’s going to win the World Cup tournament, but Strowman tells them to focus on tonight. Because if one of them ends up being a loser tonight, there will. of course, be hands gotten.
Before Strowman can elaborate on the
Seth Rollins def. Drew McIntyre via Count-out, to qualify for the WWE World Cup
Rollins actually gets an early advantage in this match, to the point that McIntyre eventually tries to hide under the ring. With that, Dolph Ziggler comes out for the distraction, which leads to a momentum shift. But it’s only a momentary momentum shift, as yet again, McIntyre may have the power advantage, but Rollins obviously has a power game of his own.
So, of
Despite working together for a common goal—helping Seth Rollins win—not everything is all good for The Shield.
Meanwhile, in a boiler room, The Brothers of Destruction say they lost respect for Triple H and Shawn Michaels when they realized how much of their lives were built on lies. As The Undertaker said in the lead-up to Super Show-Down, Shawn Michaels didn’t stay retired because of respect for him but instead because of fear. And that’s the same reason he came to second his buddy in Melbourne. But there’s no need to be scared, because once Taker and Kane win their tag team match at Crown Jewel, the newly-reunited D-Generation X will be dead for good, and it’ll be back to the safety of retirement for Michaels and the boardroom for Triple H. And The Brothers of Destruction also have three words for them: “REST. IN. PEACE.”
Ember Moon & Nia Jax def. Dana Brooke & Tamina
After last week’s match about competitive spirit, this week, Nia Jax and Ember Moon are back to realizing that teamwork makes the dream work. And they do so by going against Dana Brooke and a returning Tamina (after about nine months on the shelf with an injury). During this match, the commentary team announces that there will be a joint-brand battle royal at the Evolution pay-per-view, where the winner gets a future Women’s Championship match.
Dana Brooke begins this match continuing to show off just how much she has improved in the ring, but unfortunately for her, she’s still not on Ember Moon’s level as a competitor. So then we get Tamina versus Nia Jax. Finally. (You can practically hear the Philly crowd say that as well.) While Nia Jax starts with the advantage, Tamina eventually picks her up for a Samoan Drop, and wow. It takes Tamina out of commission too though, and eventually, Ember Moon finishes off Dana Brooke with an Eclipse.
Tamina tries to start stuff with Nia after the match—pushing Ember aside—and when Nia tries to do something, Tamina superkicks her and asks Nia who she thinks she is. Adding insult to injury, Ember Moon then joins Tamina
After a week of wondering why they attacked her, Ronda Rousey finally gets the chance to ask The Bella Twins for answers. You can read about that here.
Bobby Roode and Chad Gable don’t have a match this week, but they do get a chance to hang out backstage with Kurt Angle, who is still very much in vacation mode. (Gable is also still in overeager mode, as he admits to wanting to get matching hats—the same hat Vacation Kurt wears—and beats Roode to the “GLORIOUS” punch once more.) Vacation Kurt might even join No Way Jose’s conga line, that’s how relaxed he is. But Acting RAW General Manager Baron Corbin reminds Vacation Kurt that he hasn’t had a singles match in WWE in a minute—12 years, actually—and he… won’t have one tonight either. Instead, he’ll have a handicap match to warm-up. Against Corbin’s buddies, AOP.
Dolph Ziggler def. Dean Ambrose to qualify for the WWE World Cup
These two men have obviously faced off one-on-one before, but Ziggler has only gone against this new version of Ambrose in tag team scenarios. So his moveset might be something Ziggler’s not ready for, and honestly, as a viewer, I’m not really ready for it either. (I enjoy it, but I’m not the one eating the new offense. Ziggler does in this match though.) Like Ziggler came out to help McIntyre earlier tonight, “The Scottish Psychopath” comes out to help Ziggler; so Rollins does the same to help his Shield brother. Only, things don’t work out quite the same way for The Shield this time. After Ambrose takes out McIntyre with a diving elbow to the outside, Rollins tries to help his brother up—but Ambrose doesn’t realize who it is and instead pushes Rollins away. Hard. Then he’s back in the ring and immediately falls victim to a Ziggler superkick for the loss.
After the match, Rollins enters the ring as Ambrose comes to, wondering what Ambrose’s problem is. Instead of an explanation or an apology, Ambrose just pushes Rollins out of the way again—this time definitely intentionally—and leaves. But Rollins won’t allow it—he must have worked with Dr. Shelby before—and asks Ambrose again what his problem is. Only this time, they’re pushing each other.
“Maybe you have lost it a little bit,” Rollins says, and lucky for all fans of The Shield, Reigns separates them before they do something they might regret. Of course,
Backstage, Ziggler gloats again about how he knew it was only a matter of time before The Shield finally broke. And McIntyre wants to capitalize, telling Strowman that the main event game plan should be to crush Rollins and Ambrose, all while making Reigns watch, But Strowman doesn’t care, because he knows how to crush these guys together and individually. He just wants to make sure Ziggler and McIntyre don’t fail, because again, if they do, they’ll get these hands.
Finn Balor def. Jinder Mahal
Samir Singh is back from injury to join Alicia Fox and his brother Sunil at Jinder Mahal’s side, but unfortunately for Mahal, the result remains the same. Coup de Grace and it’s over.
But instead of a Balor (and Bayley) celebration, Bobby Lashley and hype man Lio Rush come out. Rush says Balor wishes he looked like the Lashley, who of course looks like money and smells like money. And Lashley decides to show the WWE Universe what Rush means just by posing.
Bobby Lashley def. Tyler Breeze
Lashley apparently poses through the commercial break and most of this match. Poor Tyler Breeze, who actually looks (and possibly smells) like money. When Lashley finally decides to wrestle, he defeats Breeze.
Trish Stratus and Lita come out to talk about their tag team match at Evolution and are immediately interrupted by their opponents, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James. Alexa thinks she and Lita are “on the same wavelength”—just speaking as a future Hall of Famer to current Hall of Famer—so she can totally finish Lita’s sentence for her.
But as it turns out, they are not on the same wavelength, and Alexa Bliss’ Lita impression is something that surely must disappoint WWE’s master impressionists, The IIconics. Mickie James praises Alexa’s impression though, because Mickie has a Trish impression of her own. (No, not this one.) At the very least, Mickie knows that Trish’s signature point is “all in the hips,” because of course she does.
The point that the mean girl duo is making
Backstage, The Riott Squad mock Bayley because they can—and because she currently has no Sasha Banks (who’s M.I.A.) or Finn Balor (who’s probably in the men’s locker room) to help her—saying she’s really only good at running away from fights. They, on the other hand, are good at vandalizing Natalya’s—who finally getting some payback against Ruby Riott tonight—locker room door with ketchup and mustard. Because they’re problem children.
AOP (Akam & Rezar) def. The Conquistador
While The Conquistador is billed as “Kurt Angle,” this is clearly not Kurt Angle. Not just because he doesn’t wear his tropical shirt over the gold costume. Mostly because he seems to have forgotten how to wrestle.
Baron Corbin watches this “match” from the stage, as the AOP make short work of this obviously non-Angle, to his delight. But post-match, Drake Maverick orders the AOP to unmask The Conquistador because Drake Maverick is a smart man: It’s not Kurt Angle, because Kurt Angle is behind Corbin, ready to Angle Slam him.
Natalya def. Ruby Riott via Disqualification
On her own, Natalya may not have a chance against Ruby Riott and the rest of The Riott Squad. But Natalya is not own her own: She brought back-up in the form of Bayley and a returning Sasha Banks. It’s a plan that works too, as Natalya is clearly about to win with a Sharpshooter before Sarah Logan finally just jumps in to save Ruby. The post-match becomes a three-on-three brawl, with Bayley and Sasha proving once more that they are a cohesive unit (no matter what Corey Graves says). And Natalya is right there with them.
Another Elias concert, another Elias concert interruption. But he definitely deserves it this time for insult Gritty. (Elias is a monster.) Apollo Crews is this week’s interrupter, and while he’s got some jokes, he’s also got a brass ring to grab. He’s tired of being passed by in WWE by less talented men—men like Elias—especially when he knows they can’t touch what he can do in the ring. So he makes sure to prove his point to Elias, and the Philly crowd loves it just like they love Gritty.
The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns) def. Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, & Braun Strowman
Strowman forces Ziggler to start this match to prove something to him—even though he won his World Cup qualifying match, unlike McIntyre—which doesn’t seem like the best way to build team unity. Lucky for them, The Shield are still having plenty of miscommunications.
But seriously, The Shield’s miscommunications are nothing compared to Ziggler, McIntyre, and Strowman’s. Especially when Ziggler ends up getting destroyed by Reigns, all while Strowman screams “TAG ME IN” at him. Then Ziggler tags in McIntyre instead, who also fails at taking out Reigns, so McIntyre definitely has to tag Strowman. With that, Strowman tries to show them how it’s done. “THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF STUFF,” he screams, so McIntyre tags himself back in to try to show Strowman how to take care of stuff. Strowman tags himself back in, and see? They’re not on the same page at all. And while The Shield continue to have issues and accidental collisions with each other—and sometimes intentional—the biggest offense in the match is McIntyre accidentally wiping Strowman out with a Claymore. The Shield win with a Triple Powerbomb (on Ziggler), and they hug immediately. In fact, after all this, they look like they’re finally fine.
But Ziggler lost the match, so he’s not fine. In fact, as promised, he gets these hands—aka a powerslam from Strowman. Only, after that, McIntyre hits Strowman with a very intentional Claymore time and walks away. Oh boy.