Quick & Dirty Results:
- Drew Gulak (c) def. Oney Lorcan, for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship (SummerSlam Kickoff Show)
- Buddy Murphy def. Apollo Crews, via Disqualification (SummerSlam Kickoff Show)
- Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross (c) def. The IIconics (Billie Kay & Peyton Royce), for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship (SummerSlam Kickoff Show)
- Becky Lynch (c) def. Natalya, in a Submission match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship
- Goldberg def. Dolph Ziggler
- AJ Styles (c) def. Ricochet, for the WWE United States Championship
- Bayley (c) def. Ember Moon, for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
- Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon
- Charlotte Flair def. Trish Stratus
- Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Randy Orton, for the WWE Championship ended in a Double Countout
- “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt def. Finn Balor
- Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar (c), for the WWE Universal Championship
Drew Gulak (c) def. Oney Lorcan, for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship (SummerSlam Kickoff Show): First of all, let me just note for the millionth time: 205 Live is a weekly highlight (and treasure) in WWE programming and if you’re not watching it, you’re really, really missing out. In his interview with RondaRousey.com, Matt Riddle sang the praises of Drew Gulak as an in-ring competitor—and we’ve also done that in general here every chance we get—so really, every match he has is just another day at the office. But Oney Lorcan, while he’s certainly impressed as a tag team competitor on NXT—and I even still have and regularly wear my “BIFF RULES” tank top from his pre-WWE days—this was his chance to show that he made sense as a singles contender for a top title in WWE. And he achieved that goal, even though he didn’t win the championship from Gulak.
Buddy Murphy def. Apollo Crews, via Disqualification (SummerSlam Kickoff Show): Well, Buddy Murphy versus Apollo Crews was a pretty good match while it lasted. It was to be expected that Daniel Bryan and/or Erick Rowan would decide to retaliate for him telling Roman Reigns that Rowan was responsible for attacking him though. Does that mean that Murphy was lying? Well, it honestly sounds like the Bryan doth protest too much… But it is a shame that Crews was robbed of a chance to impress even further due to Rowan’s interference and attack on Murphy.
Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross (c) def. The IIconics (Billie Kay & Peyton Royce), for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship (SummerSlam Kickoff Show): Honestly, the Kickoff Show was all a highlight, even if one of the matches didn’t end conclusively. (Again, Murphy vs. Crews was good while it lasted.) But the standout match was Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross’ WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship title defense against the former champions, The IIconics. Who knew: All it took for Billie Kay and Peyton Royce to truly have a competitive match for the titles was for them to lose them. Seriously, it’s disappointing it took them losing the titles to finally get a match like this—and one they lose, unfortunately—but it’s nice to see the titles finally getting a proper defense. And as I mentioned at Extreme Rules, Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross actually have great team chemistry. It may not have worked for them in handicap circumstances against Bayley, but it has helped them in this women’s tag team division.
Also, I didn’t think it was possible for Corey Graves to root against Alexa Bliss, but apparently, all she had to do was wear Toy Story-inspired gear and the love was dead.
Now that I’ve got all that wrestling stuff out of the way, let’s talk about Edge! Arrive. Spear Elias. Leave. I didn’t think Edge was even medically allowed to do a spear—and neither did a lot of people—but there he went, doing a spear on Elias. On the plus side for Elias, at least he wasn’t gotten by The Fiend. But I doubt he wanted to be speared by Elias.
Becky Lynch (c) def. Natalya, in a Submission match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship: Ultimately, Natalya reminded us all that she’s still got it—and probably even showed that she had more “it” than even we ever thought—but “The Man” still came out on top. Submission matches are rare in WWE these days, but it was actually refreshing to have that type of a match in a championship setting. It was also refreshing for Becky Lynch to remind everyone that she’s a technical expert too, even if she didn’t have the Hart Dungeon advantage of her opponent. The lack of rope breaks was an interesting—and somewhat odd—rule choice, but it did allow for something like Natalya executing the Sharpshooter on Becky on the top rope.
Goldberg def. Dolph Ziggler: When it comes to matches of the night, for me, it’s surprisingly a toss-up between this, the RAW Women’s Championship match, and the main event for the Universal Championship. And they’re all in contention for that spot for different reasons! In the case of Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler, surely everyone properly predicted how this match would for Ziggler—and how it would end so quickly. But I don’t imagine that anyone predicted that Mr. “It Should Have Been Me” would have kept egging Goldberg on and literally begged him to keep the punishment coming. And that was the truly entertaining part. So technically, none of that’s actually about the match itself, so maybe it shouldn’t count as in contention for Match of the Night. But in terms of Segment of the Night, it turned yours truly into a Goldberg fan for the first time ever, which is an impressive feat in and of itself.
AJ Styles (c) def. Ricochet, for the WWE United States Championship: Ricochet came out here looking like Nightwing, which would’ve been cool (for a very nerdy thing)… if not for the fact that it meant Ricochet’s abs were nowhere to be found during this match. Which is most likely why he lost. (You see, my theory is that Ricochet’s abs are where his power comes from. Like Samson and his hair. No, not Elias Sampson.” Well, that and The O.C. And AJ Styles’ uncanny ability to transform opponents’ offense into the perfect opportunity for a Styles Clash.
Bayley (c) def. Ember Moon, for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship: There’s really not much more to say about this match other than the fact that it was a competitive back and forth match between Bayley and Ember Moon, which is exactly what was promised over the weeks. That’s exactly what was exactly delivered. However, Ember Moon wasn’t able to deliver on her promise to win the gold from the SmackDown Women’s Champion. Both brands’ women’s champs retained tonight, despite the difficult competition.
One of RondaRousey.com’s writers got the chance to speak with Ember Moon during the SummerSlam festivities, so be on the lookout for that upcoming exclusive interview.
Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon: This match had the added stipulation that, if Kevin Owens lost, he’d have to quit WWE. It also had Elias as Special Outside Enforcer. Yes, Shane McMahon had nothing on the line, and yes, Elias was not an impartial “official.” But Kevin Owens still ended up winning, so at least something good came out of all of this. And he got to Stunner Shane McMahon again!
Charlotte Flair def. Trish Stratus: Well, Charlotte Flair ultimately did what she set out and promised to do by defeating WWE Hall of Famer Trish Stratus. And she did so in a great match, meaning that Trish Stratus has now had two great retirement matches in her native Toronto. Lucky Canuck. Unlike Dolph Ziggler vs. Goldberg, this was actually a “dream match,” and it lived up to the type of lofty goals set by that sort of thing.
Also: Shout out to there being four different women’s matches on this card, all given proper time (and with only one featuring Corey Graves screaming about Toy Story). The only major criticisms out of all four of them is the fact that one match didn’t happen sooner (The IIconics having a “real” WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match) and another was simply a cromulent wrestling match (the SmackDown Women’s Championship match).
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Randy Orton, for the WWE Championship ended in a Double Countout: What is it about the WWE Championship that makes WWE Superstars want to involve their opponent’s families in all of this? Because one minute Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton is all about 10 years of frustration (on Kingston’s part) and cockiness (on Orton’s part), and the next, it’s about Orton eyeballing Kingston’s kid. And it was such a good match while it lasted, one that definitely didn’t deserve to end in a double countout. Stupid referee.
“The Fiend” Bray Wyatt def. Finn Balor: YOWIE WOWIE! The Fiend’s entrance was… even more than I ever could have imagined. I’m not one to call things badass, but it was 100% badass. The remixed entrance theme is definitely a banger.
As for the match itself: R.I.P. Finn Balor, I guess?
Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar (c), for the WWE Universal Championship: While it was impressive and exhilarating to watch Seth Rollins defeat Brock Lesnar quickly—and with a dick kick—at WrestleMania, that win was still a tainted one. You know, because of said dick kick. So this match was the Universal Championship match that “should have” happened back in April. Not only did Rollins beat Lesnar fair and square in one-on-one competition, it was actually a competitive Brock Lesnar match, which is really all you can ask for (since you can’t really ask for him to stick around). It didn’t look like it would be at first, with Lesnar throwing Rollins all around the ring. But then the tide turned on the match, for the better. And with that, “The Beastslayer” did what he promised he was going to do, once more. And this time, there will be no asterisk by his win.
You can watch SummerSlam on the WWE Network.